You try to convince yourself that you did what is best and what you think is right for you and the people around you. But then your 12-year old self is smirking and questioning your line of thought at the moment, “Are you really a grown-up who’s capable of living with an adventure you cannot control?” your 12-year old asks as she stares at you with a knowing look.
You roll your eyes and bite your lower lip at the thought that you were more mature and thoughtful and caring when you were 12. You were consumed by “adulting” and you have forgotten the 12-year old who loves to ask deep questions and have weird conversations with random people. You have forgotten the 12-year old who knows love more than anyone else–who loves love itself in a weird kind of way. You have forgotten how to be curious like a child lost in the wilderness, that is why you are suffering right now. You have lost yourself in the fiery pit of being a woman and you rode the carriage of Fast Forward that you try to live inside a coconut shell and shape yourself with the expectations of the society.
You never wanted any of this and you know it. But you still struggle to live through the norms, thinking that the world would be less cruel if you make yourself the victim of everyone and everything. You convince yourself that you are doing what is best and what you think is right for you and the people around you.
