I know I should start from the beginning but that’s too dull. So let me start from the freshest update: I met a new writer, just yesterday: April 16.
A New Writer
Fevie said he was there from the moment they opened the cafe, and he was sitting on my favorite seat. Hmm, “odd” I thought. I can’t stop thinking about it, because not just anyone would do that, unless they’re somehow like me.
When I arrived, I noticed the pile of books in front of him, along with the one he was reading, and he was taking notes while reading. My instinct says he’s a writer, give or take. No point in delaying it, I asked him directly if he was a writer or just a reader. That is one mistake on my end. I know full well how it feels for an unpublished writer to be asked if one is a writer or not. Most of the time, we do not know how to answer the question.
But the flow of conversation went smoothly, that I was in high spirits, as if somebody hit the reset button for me.
Are you a kind or mean organizer?
I got conscious of how I am as an event organizer, due to a conversation on the side street. Am I mean or kind? Should I be mean or kind? When a friend mentioned a mean organizer, my mind flipped backwards to every event I organized and helped organize. Was I mean? Or was I kind? I realized that yes, I was kind of mean. Even if my friend said I was patient, I don’t think I was ever kind. When it comes to organizing events, I want everything perfect. Hence, I panic when a flaw arises, or when things are getting out of hand.
I have a lot of complaints here and there, and I tend to be edgy when there are distractions. But I think that it takes a lot of pressure and practice to get that “just enough” tone when things are not going your way. As to the manner of speaking, there are ways on how to say things without hurting anyone, but there are times when I just want to get it right out of my mouth in order to be done with it.
But, hey, if you’re an organizer too, please, be kind. It takes a special kind of crazy to pull it off as mean and carry the event all throughout the day.
The Type of Coffeeshops We Go To
You may have heard the news: I only go to certain coffee shops nowadays. My Starbucks life is like a bad habit kept in the treasure box–and they say, bad habits don’t die, they just hide away for some time.
About these coffeeshops. I will refrain from mentioning the names, because I want to share about them in separate articles. I go to a particular coffee shop to watch people–to stare at the street and clear my head. There’s this coffeeshop that I go to and all I can think of is work. And then there’s this coffee shop that makes me feel like I am one page closer to my writing.
If you combine the three, that was my life at Starbucks before. And having said that, it’s difficult to change the way I feel for those three particular coffee shops now (more about this later).
The Million Dollar Question
With what I just said above, I know you’re wondering, and I know that there’s a BIG QUESTION hanging in the air: ARE YOU DRINKING COFFEE? HAHAHAHAHA. I know, I know. I was not allowed to drink coffee–I mean, I am not allowed to drink coffee for at least 6 months to a year from January.
My wounds aren’t completely healed inside, and at times it aches like hell when the coffee is too strong or too sweet, but am not quite sure why. They say I should take it slow. And we all know that I hate it when you tell me what to do. So here I am, with those instructions on repeat in my mind, but I am doing the very opposite, every single time. Tehee!
So why am I not having coffee with usual friends and postponing invites here and there? Because I am scared that you might see me vulnerable. ‘But isn’t that the point of friendship?’ You might be asking. I guess I don’t want you to see me in a state of vulnerability no matter how deep our friendship is.
As of late, I keep conversations as short as possible, avoiding the looks and all. I guess I just don’t want to see you look at me with pity. And that may not even be the case, but that’s just me overthinking things. So, forgive me. For now, I’ll be the snob, the villain, the mean b**** if you will.
Reading and Writing
I caught up with my reading and writing so far. My heart went back to books, of reading different genres at a time, and thanks to one of the three coffee shops for bringing back the reader in me. I lost that eagerness to read because of the projects I have been doing.
As for writing, I have been writing at night, when I am fully awake at 12midnight or 1am onwards. Although, there are times when I could not get into it because of deep sleep after a tiring day or if I arrive home at nearly 12.
Comrades and New People
I met a lot of new people after what happened last December. I got close to a few, and if you know me well, then you know that I want to keep my circle as small as possible, or at least, these circles don’t overlap. That is one reason why I rarely let them meet together, or else I’ll get bored and leave one group of friends to maintain anonymity. I can only handle one group at a time, more than 4 people in a room, me included, would make me a wallflower instantly.
I guess that’s it for now. That’s too many updates in one sitting already. Till next time!
