“What was your aim for doing it? Or who did you think of while doing it? Like, who was it that you wanted to please in doing it?” mom asked when she picked me up from the hotel.
I thought for a while, and it was Ma’am A. I said “I do not care about anything or anybody as long as I see her smile and say ‘Thank You’.” And she did. The event had a lot of downsides but she did smile and said the magical words to me. That was enough for me. Why her, you may ask. Because most students fear her. Because most students dislike her. Because most students do not understand her ways of teaching. Because I want to overcome my 5% of fear from her. Because she is one of the biggest persons whom I respect a lot.
In everything that we do, we have a certain goal. And thinking about that goal kept you going. When we achieve it, we feel at ease and ready for the next battle. And if she was your goal and you got what you wanted, then you are a better person today than yesterday. Now what is next for you? Mom responded.
That is when I fell asleep thinking about what is next for me.
What overwhelmed me were the compliments and praises and taps on my shoulder for a job well done. I smiled and was not able to say anything. Plus Ma’am Greg thanking me in near tears after the party, and her saying ‘Thank You’. You see, I do not want to be complimented or praised because I will just tell you all the things that went wrong and that I do not deserved to be complimented. I just want to hear those words “Thank You”. I just want your smile and that was enough.
I wanted to cry, hug a pillow, snuggle up and curl in a sofa or a comfy bed to sleep, and that never happened. Anyways…
I would like to thank the people who helped in making the event possible. First, that one person who surprisingly wanted the event to happen, that she even made big efforts (which is rare) in supporting me and has always been there in the planning and preparations for the event. Second, the person who made a deal with me. I hate it when unexpected bets are made but I said yes anyway. It did push me beyond my limits as I did not really want losing. HAHAHA. Also, thank you for being there to contradict my negative brain and for believing in me. Third, the moody authorities who I know too well, that says a lot of not-so-good things about me. You made me strong with your every glare and I may not know the exact words you used (and might still be using right now), but I care about it less now that everything is done. Fourth, the person who, though I know have doubts about me, still believed and wanted this to happen.
Thank you to everyone who wanted this and otherwise. The event would not have been possible without you guys. I owe you a lot.
Words that echoed through the night until now: “I will not do what you did…” “one-man-team”…”I am proud of you”…”hands down…”
If I were given a chance to talk, I would have shown my gratitude to all the people who helped me through the event. But I was not and that is okay. Because I just wanted the night to end.
