I do not know how many times I have told you this, but here I am again, telling you that everything is all about perspective.
We often ask “why” like “why is this happening?”, “why is he or she doing this and that?”, “why is he or she saying this and that?”, and a lot more “why”s out there. But then, we should not be asking the “why” but instead we should be asking all the “how”s.
“How did this happen?”, “How did he or she come up with this and that?”, “how was he or she able to say this and that?”, and a lot more “how”s.
How we react to things determines the result of a conversation, of a deal, of all sorts of connection. When we ask the whys, we tend to focus on our beliefs and ignore what the other person is saying. We tend to focus more on what we want to say, rather than understanding what the other person meant. But when we ask the hows, we tend to dig deeper, to try seeing a bigger picture of things, like how did this come to be and where does the other person come from. Is there a prior circumstance that caused him or her to say such things that maybe he or she does not mean? And all those.
See? There is a lot of opportunities for us to understand others when we focus on the “how”. But it does not stop there. How we see things and how we react is a huge factor in life.
Due to varied origins, traditions, beliefs, people we keep close to us, and experiences, our view of things are different from one another. Some people are inexperienced, some too experienced, and others are just indifferent to situations and people.
We cannot force others to see things the way we see things; we cannot impose things on people, especially when we know nothing about them. We often react to other people’s words and actions because we either know too much about them or we know nothing at all. When we know too much about them, we tend to react and correct them, question them, and criticize their ways without acknowledging them and where they’re coming from. And when we do not know anything about them, we do the same only in a more cruel sense.
